Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize