OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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