At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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