i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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