Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
