yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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