Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
