life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
