Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Randomize
