No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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