I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
