Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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