You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
