she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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