3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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