either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
