just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
