jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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