i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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