I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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