Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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