So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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