I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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