Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
