We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
