Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize