I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
