I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
