I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize