Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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