Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
