he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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