The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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