So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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