im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
