Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
