I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
