Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
