moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
