u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
