Porn is love you can see.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
