Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
