too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Two words: blizzard sex
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
