My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
