so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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