Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
