I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
