I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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