There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
