420 ftw
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
