Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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