Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
