She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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