yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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