trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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