He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There r osticjed everywhere
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
