we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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