My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
