Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
