i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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