I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
