one might say we're banned from that church
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
