i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
