I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
