I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
