no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm passing your future prison.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize