Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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