you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize