hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
