I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize