I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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