She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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