shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
