I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
