Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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