the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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