You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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