Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
